All hail the King of Hate. Darksydephil was a Youtuber from YouTube’s hay day when you could gain fame off of playing video games with crappy cameras pointed at your CRT television, where the glare would cover up 1/3rd of the screen. Phil called himself the King Of Hate, an auspicious title he gained from his years in the fighting game community, a hotbed of toxic salt where he made it his personality to shout insults and profanity. Hatred permeated the man’s every fiber of being, it compelled him to slam his controller into a table whenever it didn’t respond to his commands at once. The King of Hate, tyrant of wicked acts, title more appropriate to the response he received from all those who beheld his self-appointed royal visage.
All hail the King of Lies, he balances his empty promises on his feet so much he contracts gout and treats it like a deadly disease to which his subjects’ donations are the only cure. All hail the King of Greed while he demands more and more of his subjects; everything in the kingdom must come to a standstill while the King commands more be thrown upon his pile of riches. All hail the King of Spite, he hides his jealousy of lords more skilled than he by spitting words laced with salt and brimstone. The battle wasn’t lost because of he, no! It was the worthless controller which lost him his match, and the punishment for that is more abuse. All hail the King of Vanity, the king whose ego thinks for him and believes in the false legends and heraldry that he crafted himself. The king who believes that the world wide web spins itself around him. The king who can’t take a joke at his expense, the perpetual fool who sent every jester in the kingdom a copyright claim for defamation. He doesn’t care for your advice if it’s not wrapped in compliments. He hates your words because they come out of your mouth. All hail the King of Sins, who was caught “scratching his leg” when he thought that the camera was off, his face an open mouthed, closed eye appearance of ecstasy before he noticed the beholder’s gaze still glaring at him in horror.
All hail the King of Hate who once dragged me into his spiral of spite, we had become so focused on kicking the hand that grabbed me that we let ourselves fall deeper and deeper into the pit of hatred. Hatred is like a plague, it grips your brain and squeezes it so tightly that your thoughts collapse in on each other and bile builds up in the membrane. Hatred consumes us from the inside, it blinds us to bliss and tells us that the only path forward is by digging the hole deeper. Hatred is a unique kind of mind control, it places an ever burning flame in our souls which feeds upon brash actions and cruel words. Hatred is a parasitic weapon, feeding off its host and growing stronger. Internet anonymity is a mask which hides us from others as well as ourselves. The King of Hate holds his title not just because of his own deep well, but because of the hatred he inspires in others. The King of Hate sits upon his throne of shit with a gleeful grin because we put him there, our hatred for him was his rise to fame and power. He commands hate like the conductor of a symphony, every move of his baton only creates more discordant noise, layering upon each other like animals wailing in agony. The King of Hate throws rocks into the lion enclosure and laughs like a seal when the lions swipe at him to no avail.
But his castle, made out of attention, collapses when we stop building it. All empires fall sooner or later, the empire which is built on attention and hate falls quicker than others once the vicious cycle is broken. I should know, I haven’t thought about the King of Hate in the many years until now. Life gains new meaning when you don’t obsess over the things that you hate. Painstakingly crawling out of the bloody pits of internet spew is worth it to feel just how amazing the fresh air can be. Like Ozymandius, his kingdom has fallen, we have no more need for kings in our world. All hail the King of Hate, let us never look upon his works and despair again.
The Oubliette 